Monday, December 23, 2002

Tonight, as so many others, has been one of ups and downs- far more ups than downs, in fact, really only one noteable down, but we'll cover all our bases in a moment. First, an apology- the last time I tried to update my blog was my last day of employment at Burger King- as of, well, a while ago now, I am officially unemployed, and almost blissfully so. I quit to give myself time to enjoy my the holiday return of my friends before I jet off to California in January, an event that is approaching entirely too quickly for my liking. My last night, I wrote a long, probably almost touching entry, and then the Burger King computer ate it. One last insult to add to a big, long injury. But, as far as employers go, BK was my best, out of two, and I shall miss it. Now out of the past, and onto the present.

The day started out, if we count from midnight, with Kris (who is spending the weekend here), Zack and I on a futon, totally wasted from the hour- you know that time, where you laugh at everything whether it's funny or not? It had been too long since I'd experienced it, but we made up for that, just me and two of the best men I'll ever know. From that time, I must report, came the quote of the day-

Zack: (Talking about the top of a pumpkin-shaped flashlight...type thing) fingers are ins a pumpkin.
Kris: (Talking about me.) It's rude to call her that.
Linda: Hey! *Hits Kris* Shut up. I'm prettier than a pumpkin.
Kris: Yes. At least, until midnight.
Linda: But it's after midnight.
Kris: We know.

At this point, I commenced climbing on top of him and beating him mercilessly. Sometime after that, Kris retired to my room and Zack and I...uh, eventually slept. We woke up together...eventually got up, and got kris out of bed. Zack ate leftover chinese from the day before, Kris had some sort of nutrient shake, and I had a traditional breakfast of turkey bacon and honeycomb. Sometime after a stint of Zack taping random objects to my pants, the three of us got into a milk and water fight. Kris showered, Zack left, and Kris and I played Super Monkey Ball 2 on his gamecube until Kris got hungry. I showered and then we went out to get more chinese food, as well as supplies for the ensuing get together.

In theory, it would have been everyone- Kris, Chad, Nick, Ben, Casey and I, but no one really thought Chad would show, and Ben (who the date was set around) had to cancel last minute due to a "family event", also popularly called "unscheduled nookie." This left Nick to pick up Casey, who was kept late at the salt mill (Calendar Store), so Nick arrived, sans our fourth. I panicked as to Casey's whereabouts, as Nick and Casey had merely missed each other, with no explanation, then we ate, then I panicked some more. Ultimately, we got in touch with Casey and he drove down on his own, at least as far as McDonald's, where we met him, and we came home to my house to spend the first two hours fast-forwarding to the good scenes of "Original Sin". I don't know how this activity managed to take up more of our time than watching the actual movie would have, but somewhere in there that we established that Casey's sexual interest was vested in Antonio Banderas rather than Angelina Jolie, mine in some Nuns, Nick's in a football from my floor, and Kris in the three of us. Casey was wearing a shirt with a place to add velcro letters that I just happened to own, so I wrote out "ANTONIO" with a heart on it- this bears mention because our next endeavor, after searching a movie for nipples (which we realized was pathetic soon after the fact) was to go outside and attempt to play football in my yard, in December, at night. We lost the football in some of the trees, and as I was taking a flashlight to search for it, who should come by but our neighborhood's friendly law enforcement, a woman who called us all up to her car to ask what we were up to. We explained we were playing football in my yard, and she asked each of our names- I shined a light on each of them as they told her, and she asked if we had been involved in any white supremacy-related violence in the area. We told her that we hadn't, of course, but I think our silent testimony- namely Casey's "*Heart* ANTONIO" shirt was what really redeemed us.

Just in case it never happens to you, if you're outside playing football with three of your geeky male friends from Auburn, and the worst felony between the four of you is pretending to be of age to get into porn sites, and a cop asks you if you've been involved in any racist violence in the area, let me tell you- it is so difficult not to laugh in said cop's face.

After that we gave up the search for the football and just started to play tackle, which resulted in Casey and I running for our dear lives away from the combined tonnage of Nick and Kris (no offense to them, of course), and after sustaining multiple injuries, we went inside. I had intended for us to read the new parts of a play about my friends that Andrew and I have just begun to start writing again, after a year of hiatus, but I could not find the diskette and only managed to crack a lightbulb among the chaos of my room, making it even more hazardous than it was, so Casey and I messed with people on my buddy list as Kris and Nick played a rousing game of kerplunk, then positions switched, then eventually we all grew bored of everything. I don't know, somewhere around their Nick and Casey left...but I've somehow missed the essence of the evening. I miss hanging out with a group, especially that group. Tonight was the highlight of my month, I think, what with all our hijinks and catting around. I can't explain how good it feels to laugh when all your friends are laughing with you, or to look at Angelina Jolie's breasts bounce with Antonio Bandera's momentum while sandwiched between the roused laps of three of your male friends, or to be interrogated for possible involvement in a racist crime while standing next to a guy in a "*Heart* ANTONIO" shirt. Kris's persistent, obnoxious humor, Nick's undying criticism of Lisbon, and Casey's uncanny timing and humor made tonight wonderful. So good to hang out with old friends, and absolutely delightful to start so well with new ones. If every night could be this good, I wouldn't be going through the bored-out-of-my-mind pre-midlife crisis that I am. I need more nights like this one, and very little else.

It wasn't all good, though. After Nick and Casey left, I got to talking to Kris about certain stresses I've had on me lately, as well as one thing I'm not accustomed to dealing with- regret. Regret isn't something I've believed in in the past, having a "what's done is done" attitude going on, but tonight, I indulged in a little shameful self-loathing, and expressed some things to Kris that I've been reluctant to talk about with anyone else, but things that I've needed to get off of my chest. I talked and he listened with unparalleled attention and concern, and- this was the thing I appreciated- the moment my voice cracked, the very same moment, he got up from his chair and kneeled before me and held me to him as I cried. It had been a long time since I'd cried to anyone other than Zack. I needed to do it. And the way he was there for me- the way he promised that he always would be, and he gave me his word that things would get better for me, that it would work out- it was wonderful. Kris is wonderful.

How I've lived so long with all these people far away from me is beyond my imagination, but I'm grateful to have them back, if only for a short time. Perhaps I'll get to see them again between now and the time I'm leaving on a jet plane, perhaps not...but if not, when we get the oppurtunity again, it's going to rock.

I'd like to end on a more impressive, satisfying note than "it's going to rock", but it's almost four AM, and lucidity escapes me as quickly as my talent with words does. So, let that be all for tonight, because tonight isn't one of those nights where I'll go to sleep, wondering why I let another day waste. And that's good enough for me.

On with it.