I need to stop and take stock of what I'm thankful for. Before I let negativity drag me so far that I become ineffective: I can't let that happen, because this is my life. This is the only one I get.
- I'm thankful for the friends I've been reconnecting with lately, and the newer people I've been getting closer to. I'm thankful for Emily's birthday, the oppurtunity I'm going to have to make her happy. I'm thankful that Dan seems to appreciate my input in his hopelessly typical awkward teenaged scenario. I'm thankful that Jenn and I have more in common than we used to, and that she seems open to the idea of getting to know each other again. I'm thankful that Jeremey calls me back when I text message him, even if he doesn't catch the Family Guy reference. I'm thankful that Elorza and I can still pull off the occasional three-hour, late-night online conversation. I'm thankful that Sam's listened to the mix CD I made him so many times, and that he gets Hallelujah. I'm thankful that no matter how paranoid I get that Mike is mad at me, he never really is. I'm thankful to be one of Mr. Ladd's "important people."
- I'm thankful for "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5. It's the perfect song to listen to when you're trying to shrug off the melodrama for a few minutes and just be a little bit lighter. I'm gonna play it again right now.
- I'm thankful for myself, for the strength I've had in wading through the circumstances that I've been dealt. I'm thankful for my willingness to fight the good fight, however unnoticed it may be. I'm thankful for my own courage, for my body, for the things about me that are wonderful even when I do not know they are wonderful. I am thankful for my mind and my words, both of which I continue to have faith will take me great places, when I'm ready to devote the attention to getting there.
- I'm thankful for my husband's willingness to work two jobs and help us pull through this otherwise very lean time for us. I'm thankful for the fact that, for the first time ever, I was able to see myself in a bad situation with a job and get out before I was kicked out. I'm thankful for the possibility that lays before me, even when it is overwhelming.
- I'm thankful for how much fun I can have on my own, dancing around my living room. I'm thankful for Diana Ross' "Coming Out" and James Brown's "Play that Funky Music, White Boy". I'm thankful for Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" and Sean Paul's "Temperature." I'm thankful for the different ways I've learned to move my ass and I'm thankful for the way I look with just a light coat of sweat on my face.
- I'm thankful for my ability to be thankful; to occasionally remind myself that life's not all shit, that it's my responsibility to feel the full spectrum, that no one's gonna do it for me. I'm thankful, right now.
On with it.
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