Saturday, August 31, 2002

FieryGwenivere: Zack's fine
Mitch: thats good
Mitch: he's in my study hall
FieryGwenivere: is he then? nice
FieryGwenivere: when's that?
Mitch: 7 th period
FieryGwenivere: which moniter?
Mitch: Mrs B
FieryGwenivere: nice. I'll have to come visit you both sometime
Mitch: excellent. while you're at it, you can vsit becky too
Mitch: she sits right next to me
Mitch: did that drop the idea?
FieryGwenivere: Why would it? I like Becky
Mitch: thats good
FieryGwenivere: she made me nervous at first, but all girlfriends do that. And as far as they go, she's one of the cooler ones I've met
Mitch: thats good to know
FieryGwenivere: you must keep in mind, I'm not out to attempt to seduce you or whatever simply because I happen to find you attractive. I happen to find a lot of people attractive
Mitch: no matter what, you're comming to my weding and you're gonna dance with me

I find that awesome. Mitch is so great. He and I had a conversation a while back during which he asked if I was attracted to him and I told him, essentially, yes, but he's too good of a friend for me to ever hit on- as more than friends, we would have no chance, no future, no anything. He seems to have taken the conversation as indication that he needs to point out, every chance he gets, that he has a girlfriend, but I'm not about to hit on Mitch. The fact that he would go so far to be tactful, though, is adorable, as is just the idea of dancing at him with his wedding....even just BEING at his wedding. I love that he values me so much.

And on an even better note, my long, albeit undocumented, search for someone to accompany me to New York has seemingly come to an end- Heather, a friend of mine that, as of late, I have had somewhat unsatisfactory amounts of contact with, will be my travelling partner. Now all I have to do is make the reservations for the hotel and by bus tickets, as well as tickets to "Rent". The fact that I'm going to see "Rent" has not just a few people very jealous of me. Originally, the Broadway tickets were intended just to bribe Jenn to come accompany me so that I would be able to be there for the reason I really want to be there- the first anniversary of september 11th. Jenn, however, declined the idea of going to that and said we should save our travels for another time, so I then invited Emily, who entertained the idea for a short time but ultimately said no. Heather, as of yet, doesn't know of my plans to devote at least a few hours to whatever ceremony the city will be holding, but since I am paying for 75, if not 80 or 90 percent of the trip, I doubt she'll be uncooperative.

Speaking of paying for things, I must go work towards funding this trip. It's my first overnight shift at Burger King, and I look forward to ten straight hours alone with some manager from another store named "Mike". I also look forward to using up the batteries on my cd player.

So good to be detachted from the world around you...and payed for it! On with it.

Thursday, August 29, 2002

The biggest, best laugh of the week is today's quote of the day, coming directly to us from The Pit, as supplied by Mal-

"Wed Aug 28 21:04:26 GMT 2002
(from:) Mal
(to:) Suede

How do you possibly put up with this guy?

Gag him with a sock and pretend he's a mute?

Tell him to 'shut up and lick' as soon as he walks through the door?

Pretend he's speaking in figurative language and invent intelligent, symbolic meanings for winners like 'Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...I love big bold letters' ??

Come now, enquiring minds want to know."

He is referring, as none of you will know, to Zack, who's pit personality- Phillis- is not exactly everyone's favorite guy, as he basically stops in once in a while to post random bullshit punctuated entirely with ellipses (...) and making no sense to the outside world whatsoever. Mal, who has so far taken offense to every romantic interest of mine who wanders into the pit- including "Pedia" or "Einsames" (Jeff), with whom he fought for days over...well, it started off as Metallica, then became several different issues entirely, and "Tactless Wonder" (Chad), who never really did anything to anybody, but whom I seem to remember Mal having at least one run in with- is the number one anti-phillis of the pit. Seemingly, Mal just thinks I can do better than these people.

But, Mal baby, you're married. Everything better's already taken, remember?

(For the sake of my readers, I must inform that that is hardly a serious comment- Mal and I have a symbiotic relationship which involves mutual ego-stroking and long-winded writing talks, as well as the occasional arrogant piss-duel. But I love my demon, just the same.)

So, yes, as they say on the pit. "*cack* @ Mal".

And as they say here, "on with it."

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

As if to prove to the rest of the world that they are wrong, we CAN do it, last night with Jeff was great. From Tin Tin, our place, where we shoved strawberry jello from the buffet straight into my jacket pockets in sentiment to the top of the parking garage where we ended up throwing it to the streets below, from the car ride spent screaming "INDIANA ROCKS" at the top of our lungs my bathroom, serenading my pajama-clad sister with a bad rendition of Etheridge's "The Only One", the chemistry between us didn't falter once. Granted, it was difficult- after nine months, it's hard to remember, all of a sudden that no, you aren't allowed to kiss someone, and yeah, maybe you should pull away from that embrace before it becomes questionable. But between our mutual efforts and joking reminders that things we used to do without thought are now "inappropriate", we did good. And it was great.

It's been a long time since I've been able to hang out with him without feeling the strain of thoughts like "What if I'm about to hurt this magnificient human being? What if I really screw up?", and finally being relieved of that, knowing that I've finally done the right, if extremely painful, thing...that makes things between he and I easier and better and more enjoyable for me. I keep having to remind myself that he's not in the same place as I am- that he didn't have any great relief to be found in the end of our relationship, but I think the difference in it for me is positive, in it's own way, for both of us. I guess I really don't know if he'd disagree, but aside from a few delicate moments, last night felt better- more relaxed, more fun- than things have between us for a while. None of my zoning out to wonder about the validity of us, the deservingness of me, or how awful the end might finally be. Just he and I, the way we always were, the way- I hope- we always will be.

Last night reminded me very, very clearly of why I fell so totally in love with him, and why it's worth it to make sure that that doesn't happen again. He's one of the best friends I've ever had, or could ever hope for.

Oh, and INDIANA ROCKS!!!!! On with it.