FUCK YOU COMPUTER! FUCK YOU!

There was a nice long post I wrote, and lost, about wanting to skydive on my 18th birthday, and about how at exactly 3:17 today- I know because I wrote it down- I went from HATING Jewel's "standing still" with a passion to really, really liking it. Then I talked about how the best thing in the world, or one of the best things in the world, is the moment the meaning of a song clicks for you, and you realize that you understand and identify, all of a sudden. So rather than waste time giving you anymore detail than that on the post, lost forever to that damn little X in the corner, let's all bow our heads in a moment of a silence and give these lyrics a looksie. (Most of them are really fucking trite, but there are, like, three lines in there that are amazing. See if you can pick them out!)

Cuttin' through the darkest night in my two headlights
Trying to keep it clear, but I'm losing it here to the twilight
There's a dead end to my left, there's a burning bush to my right
You aren't in sight, you aren't in sight

Do you want me, like I want you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Mothers on the stoop, boys in souped-up coupes on this hot summer night
Between fight and flight is the blind man's sight and the choice that's right
I roll the window down, feel like I'm gonna drown in this strange town
Feel broken down, I feel broken down

Do you need me, like I need you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?

Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow
Sweet sorrow is the call tomorrow

Do you love me, like I love you?
Or am I standing still, beneath the darkened sky?
Or am I standing still, with the scenery flying by?
Or am I standing still, out of the corner of my eye?
Was that you passing me by?
Are you passing me by? (Passing me by)
Do you want me? (Passing me by)
Do you need me, like I need you too?
And do you want me, like I want you?
Are you passing me by?







Well, are you? On with it!

I really really want to write something bitter about something, but I can't, because of the nature of the bitter thing....I know, I'm rambling. This feels like it should be in a tiny little font. Perhaps I'll put it in one.

stupid motherfucking sonofabitch, I feel like being angry, like feeling cheated, like feeling like this isn't my fault- of COUSRE it's my fault, who else's fault is it going to be? Grumble grumble grumble, stupid bitch, grumble. Tiny-fonted grumbling self-centered stupid bitch. That's me me me ME.

The HTML's probably messed up on that. It's been a while since I've done such a cryptic, mildly insane post, though. Hooray for the good ol' days.

On with it.

"And if I die today I'll be the happy phantom."

:-) Not really true at all- if I died today, I'd be the extremely confused phantom. The perpetually floating in befuddlement phantom. But if I died while I was listening to that song, I'd be the happy phantom, at least until it was over.

"Sometimes
I think you want me to touch you
How can I
When you build the great wall around you?
In your eyes
I saw a future together
You just look away
In the distance."

I'm all about Tori Amos right now. But I gotta install my digital cable before 9....so as much as I'd like to write, I mustn't.

Be the Happy Phantom! Go chasing nuns out in the yard! On with it!

And Andrew takes the quote of the day!

" Life is about experiencing the new and unusual."

Unfortunately, without knowing the context around that, you wouldn't know how bitterly HILARIOUS that is.

Ah, fuck, gotta love him. I'm going to be laughing at that one for a long time. Feel free to ask what the set up to that was, though I might not be able to tell you.

Off to brush my teeth and pick up my paycheck.

I haven't updated lately, things that have been going on have been private, but soon I'll have more to say, and more time to say it. Suffice to say, I'm in a weird place right now.

"There was a time you let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me, do ya?But remember when I moved in you?
And the holy dove was moving to?
And every breath we drew was
Hallelujah..."

This song is still, and will always be, amazing. There's a version with a verse I haven't heard yet by Bono...but I'm gone. Hallelujah.

On with it.