"Roxane
You don't have to put on the red light."

Holy shit. Fucking emotive song. It does NOT get better (or worse) than this.

I'm listening to it (Roxane from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack) and it's all happening at once- I am tor in between the straining and ripping and tearing of the instrumentation- the fertive strings, the desperate piano- and by both singers- the anger of one, the jealousy and brokenheartedness of the other......God, Ewan MacGregor's signing.

To me it's shame. It's shame and it's jealousy and it's desperation and it's anger and it's helplessness. It's screaming at the skies that can't hear you and loving the one who won't touch you, who touches someone else. It's everything deception, unrequoited love, hatred, beauty, and shamefulness is. And more, and less, and...god. I love this song.

Starts it so slowly, and then pulls you in, with force that you can't expect no matter how many times you hear it. None of the sounds or the emotions go forfeit to the others.

"His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I stand!"

I have to burn Jenn's copy of this CD- the music of Moulin Rouge is amazing. Not just this one, but I think this must be my favorite.

Download it. Get a pair of headphones, hold them to your ears, turn it up a little louder than it should be and let it bring you to places you've been oh so many times before. Let it make you more real.

And make sure you're sitting first. Cause this baby will dropkick you.

On with it.

Due to some controversy over last night's post, I have decided to edit out the picture of James' potential lover, out of at least minimal respect for her privacy. This edification came with the help of the consistent...convincing of a one Ms. Impartial on Frank's Pit, who I'm entirely sure would not be satiated with simply the removal of the picture. Still, with the picture goes every trace of the girl's...opposite of anonymity. I'm in a precarious setting right now- computer class- so I'll end this here.

On with it.

A James' Fucked-Up Sexual Encounters update! The very first! Hurrah!

My readers will be happy to know that the first update of insight into James Mad Mojo is not a dissapointing one! My dear friend James IMed me today letting me know that he might be "getting his freak on" with a girl from Mississippi this weekend. Knowing that my enquiring readers would wnat to know, I asked him fro more details. Having talked to this girl online for a span of three months he, like any true player, had forgotten most of them, so he asked her. She, in turn, sent him the first picture of herself that he had ever seen. His immediate reaction:

James: OMFG]
James: *just recieved the 1st pic I ever got of her*
James: Dude, I've been talking with this girl for like 3 mos. and I have never seen a pic because she was too lazy to get one too me.
James: I just found out why....her ass is bigger than a bus. I think I may haveto pass on this...
FieryGwenivere: HAHAHA
FieryGwenivere: let me see the pictures
James: nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FieryGwenivere: *picture
James: it's scary
FieryGwenivere: seriously
James: dude, she's like 10 of you
FieryGwenivere: that's because I don't HAVE an ass. Lemme see
James: Even if you had an ass! If you had 2 of jennifer lopez's asses!


I asked to see the picture and he showed them to me- sure enough, she is, well, a large girl, but I still encourage James to go for it. I am fully supportive of the idea that fat is beautiful, too...*tries her hardest to NOT make a really insincere, yet terribly amusing comment that Turtle wouldn't appreciate....straining, straining.* Either way, while I am fully convinced of what "the right thing" is, James needs a little more convincing. So we're giving this one to my readers to vote on- this is a "...You Must Be Very Bored..." exclusive, people! You've got an actual chance to shape the future! Don't delay! Voting ends...probably sometime late Friday. I'll let you know how everything works out.

Happy voting....let's all wish James and his Mississippi Woman luck!

On with it!

Today's quote of the day (in italics):
Mr. Leighton: What happened to your neck Linda? Did someone try to strangle you?
Linda: *Doesn't dignify what she thinks is a joke*
Leighton: Well?
Linda: I'm sure you can ascertain what they are.
Leighton: *Confused Silence* ......is THAT what hickies look like?

Ah....so hard to keep a straight face.

Ms. Grant almost came in to usurp the title a few times today with at least a dozen or so classroom discussion references to my "muffler burns" which she asked to see up close. I now know, definitively, how Andrew used to feel when I left him branded. Though it's a little less infamous when no one in school has met the attacker.

Today's been....I dunno, dreary-feeling. Funny as shit in a few spots, but overall....I really just can't wait for Jenn to get back. Tomorrow, it's rumored. I also have a shitload of work to finish before friday....I'll get to some of that tonight. (Laugh Track #27 plays)


FieryGwenivere: it pisses me off when people judge the songs by the artists. If a song is good, it shouldn't matter who's singing it
FieryGwenivere: unless they have an atrocious voice or something
Jacquie: yeah
FieryGwenivere: but you know what I mean
Jacquie: yeah i do
Jacquie: man, the whole weezer thing. as soon as people see who they are (30 year old dudes) then they're like ewwwww
Jacquie: it makes me mad...and i think half of them are cute! haha
FieryGwenivere: there you go
FieryGwenivere: Yeah, but even if they weren't
FieryGwenivere: I love a whole shitload of music that I wouldn't look at the artists for too long sober
Jacquie: hahaha!!!
FieryGwenivere: Ella Fitzgerald- holy shit, there's an ugly chick.
Jacquie: i know, i like the white stripes, and ok the guy is a little off key and stuff but i like it, and i actually get what he's saying. my mom thought it was kind of crappy, but i don't know, he has some expression in his voice, so i like that
Jacquie: HAHAHA
FieryGwenivere: Simon And Garfunkel aren't exactly steaming hotties
Jacquie: that whole milli vanilli thing was bogus
Jacquie: oh no they're not!
FieryGwenivere: though, I don't know....gotta love that white-guy afro
Jacquie: oh yeah, that's hot
FieryGwenivere: I'd like to get him alone on a Bridge over Troubled Waters.
Jacquie: oh baby, ow ow ow!
FieryGwenivere: I'd like to visit his scarborough fair!
Jacquie: HAHA
Jacquie: ride the carosel pony! yeehaw
Jacquie: haha i have no idea what the hell i'm talking about
FieryGwenivere: He gets me feelin' groovy
FieryGwenivere: (you think I do?)
Jacquie: ...no comment

Jacquie and I are musing with the idea of a creating a "blogger orgy", which basically means we're trying to get a bunch of people to link to each other. (Hey to Bridget and Lauren) Trying to organize that...or whatever.

So today in french, Mitch scratched on his book cover- one of those plastic sticky ones, and the obnoxious noise brought back very suddenly a powerful memory- before he moved in eighth grade, Jeremey sat behind me in science and math, and he and Jesse would sit there and just scratch on there book covers all throughout the class to annoy me. I, of course, loved every moment of the attention. And I loved it when Jeremey would organize, like, 5 of his friends to march around me making famous tiger references (I.E. "They're Grrrrrreat!") because I note to him once that I had become attracted to the tiger poster on my wall. It hit me pretty completely in French class...but I'm not really sure I have it in me to sit around and die of it like I used to. I wish I did. Certain things need to be felt.

"And if you never heard that silence
Well, it's a god-awful sound."

I wanted to go for a walk earlier- put on my headphones and just walk through the streets and the wetness of it all after the rain, the darkness and the quiet and the outside Lisbon at night. I wanted to blast music into my ears and walk through the streets, looking contemplative. It's too dark now, mom wouldn't let me go alone. Now I'm longing for a ride in Bullet, but Jesse and I need to make our plans in advance, he's got a busy-ass schedule. I'd go for a ride on my own but, no license, no car......I need someone around here who'll just drive me. Maybe we could sit in silence, maybe we could listen to music, whatever. I just need to be moving right now.

Should do my massive amounts of creative wriitng, but I do this instead. Look at me, I'm a dumbass. Maybe I should take a nap. A nap would almost be nice.

I'm missing the days of me and Kris on the phone for hours at a time, doing our seperate things, being our seperate selves, but the sounds of us never being apart unless they absolutely needed to be. But, then, I tend to miss a lot of things.

On with it.

"Kris" (Chris, in my opinion) is being cool right now.

FieryGwenivere: I want credit
FieryGwenivere: I want shout-outs
FieryGwenivere: I want people to let the world know they care about me
FieryGwenivere: I want my name gracing other people's lives
FieryGwenivere: I want to KNOW when I'm being thought about
FieryGwenivere: I want the damn WORLD to know when I'm being thought about
Kris: Sharpy says:
tommorow
Sharpy says:
since it updates Wednesday as you mentioned earlier
Kris says:
I like Linda.
Sharpy says:
???
Sharpy says:
what?
FieryGwenivere: :-)
FieryGwenivere: do that about 25 more times, to make up for everyone else
Kris: Okay.

I wrote a whole....at least decently-sized entry earlier, but I fucked up and lost it somehow- damn internet! Damn computers! Suffice to say, I miss the past, I miss getting together in groups of people, I miss the way I hung out with people during, like, elementary school, and Ricky and I watched Moulin Rouge tonight.

Kris: Sharpy says:
what?
Kris says:
I like Linda.
Sharpy says:
evil college roomate?
Kris says:
I like Linda.
Kris: 23 more to go!

I missed Turtle a lot tonight. That's good, though, that's a good sign. When Iget to the point where I don't miss him, that's a bad sign. Goes on and off, I'm hoping I stay at this stage a little longer.

Another thing I need to do- and at this point I'm just disconnectedly rambling, is find my damn psyche log book. I long for the attention from Mr. Hall telling me how astounded by me he is...being that the rest of you are neglecting to make it known. Except of course Chris.

FieryGwenivere: You told him 23 more times yet?
Kris: Of course.

Well, at least Sharpy knows someone likes me.

Damn, I'm a whiny little bitch. On with it.

I haven't had a quote of the day for a while, but today's first nominee is from Ben Smith-Poulin who has just, upon opening an "Air Egypt" page he couldn't undertand, turned to me and asked "Can you read Egyptian?"

Maybe there are only a select few people around who would find that damend amusing, but I'm one of them.

Absolutely no time left in Study hall- in fact, the bell has just run, so I am out.

On with it.

Well, things have been kinda shitty since I posted yesterday, but there are two new bright spots:

*My darling Chad has, at long last, joined the pit at my request and
*My friend James who, living in a suburb of New Orleans and constantly hitting on internet chicks, has, by far, the most fucking insanely weird sex life I've ever, has agreed to let me use him in this site's newest feature- The James' Fucked-Up Sexual Encounters update. This means I will be cheering on James in his wacky persuits of all sorts of stupendously screwy sexual situations, including the proposed encounter that first inspired this idea- the 32-year-old online who wants James to screw her in front of her husband. With any luck, I should be able to make James mojo the most famous in all of Louisiana! Let's all cheer James, who will be supplying me with stories of his every future sexual encounter, on, and encourage him to practice safe sex!
From here on out- if this attempt to post an image works, this icon, or a similar one of James' lovely facecwill denote a James' Fucked-Up Sexual Encounters update.

I need to check if that worked and do like a hundred other things, so I'm off!

On with it.

Turtle, previously known as Jeff, was exactly what I needed tonight, and I'm sure that shocks all of you. We had a really good night. Started off shaky, as I was still carrying around the anger from earlier, but I bitched and then relaxed and things got better.

Things aren't hot right now, though- Elorza has just informed me he can't go to the prom. I wouldn't dream of being a tumultous influenece in their relationship but....to spare details, I wish things had worked out.

Chad has become my punching bag and I love him to death for it- he's one of the few left that I still bitch to consistently. He's good at being bitched to.

I need sleep. School tomorrow. I don't have the drive to write more anyway. These things will get good again, eventually, I swear. Play in the archives for now.

On with it.

*Sigh* Well, the city was gorgeous, Greg supplied a fun night, I totally want to live there, and I probably burned a lot of calories walking this weekend.

I'm less-than-thrilled about some other bullshit that will remain the exclusive knowledge of me and other parties involved and not the entire internet, though I'm doing it to protect other people, I don't give a shit. I feel like giving really fucking explicit details right now. (apparently I'm angry, and I am SO GODDAMNED SICK OF PRETENDING I'M NOT.)

Mr. Ladd and I are going to have a field day tomorrow, that's all I got to say.

Need angry music. Angry music and throwing punches into the air and Jeff and a fucking chastity belt and to get away from about a billion people. I need to stop feeling like a sex-sessory.

You people just need to stop FUCKING touching me. That's all there is to it.




I miss my auburn boys.

On with it.