Thursday, February 09, 2006

Barb, the prominent law professor on the Lewiston Campus of Andover, seems to perhaps be working overtime to undo any offense she feels she may have caused me in Family Law class, proclaiming time and time again how she does not care for marriage, preferring instead to "shack up" with a partner. There's no convenient way for me to tell her that I'm not offneded, that I, in fact, don't particularly care for marriage, either; I just did it, that's all. Call it naivety, love-induced craziness, or a social experiment. But kids, don't try this one at home.

This is not to say I'm cynical about my marriage. My marriage is probably about as ideal as any union riddled with the perpetual roadblocks of vaginismus and povery could get. It's marriage in general that I've been cynical about all my life, and I retain that cynicism, still. Like my last name, my negativity towards all things traditional and based upon foundations of "love" and "family" was not something I was willing to give up simply because I happened to be wearing an elaborate white dress. I wasn't going to lose my identity at any cost, even if it wasn't that good of an identity to begin with.

I asked Barb a question the other day about the practice of Zack's helplessly uninformed adjunct professor, and since she has taken the initiative to try to get to know him, through me. She said earlier today that "she kinda liked him", which, she continued, she knew sounded odd, being that she'd never actually spoken to him. To this, I replied "Not speaking to Zack is one of the best reasons to like him. It's certainly on my top five list." I meant only to jokingly acknowledge that it's his shy quietness that is perhaps most appealing to him, that unobtrusive, watchful nature that makes him so endearing. I take it, however, that she may have taken it in the same cynical tone with which I wrote on my mid-mod exam today, in response to the question "What is marriage?": "Let the suckers walking down the aisle figure it out."

She spoke to him for the first time while I was talking my Law of Business Organizations final-- he stopped by the classroom to find out if I was already testing. Later, she reported that she hoped I wouldn't be offended, but she found him cute. A dazzling smile, she said. I think Zack's gorgeous-- big, expressive eyes, Depp-esque bone structure, perfect little nose, but I seldom find people who agree, or express their agreement. The approval of a sixty-year-old presumed lesbian? Sweet.

I have no specific point, just time between finishing my exams and Zack's release, so I thought I'd write. Sorry to waste your time if you were hoping for a snappy wrap-up.

On with it.