Tuesday, April 01, 2003

And just when I was relaxing into middle-class ideals, romantic notions and the pleasures of life that one can just ride and not have to strive for like fortune, and not have to lose like fame....just when I was giving up on the bitters views of life and love and how they'll toss you around like driftwood in the storming ocean, just when I was ready to float on a raft down a gentle southern river beside him....

"And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife."

Just as I was about to be a thousand times ahead of the gang, and my infinite wisdom bestow upon me an endless love...my youth has to crawl the fuck into the picture.

"Love is not a victory march!
It's a cold, and it's very broken hallelujah."

And so once again I have to fight for what I want, what I need, what I motherfucking deserve. Once again I have to tackle the obstacles and figure out the tricks and fence in the end with my sword held high, till I slay it, and I can hold the things I love most in life in my arms, safe again, unchallenged. And I'll do it-- I always do!-- just as soon as I've figured out just what it is I want to fight for this time. My life, or my love. (Just TRY to figure out what that means! And, uh, e-mail me if you get it...)

Mr. Ladd says I love everyone. And I so rarely see that as I vice.

"Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life."

"How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?" What an amazing fucking line. On with it.