Sunday, April 20, 2003

So, Zack has decided to join the marines. As an update for all of you, this means the following:

A- I don't have the slightest idea where I'll be living post-boot camp, but I'm going to guess it will be very, very far away.
B- My wedding may be pushed up as early as this summer.
C- No, you may not try to convince me that this has doom spelled all over it for your own personal gain. You may not tell me what this means even if you think it's forcing me to be realistic and you perceive that as what I need most. If you can't say something nice, don't say any-fucking-thing at all.

I found what I think I've been meaning to say for a while tonight, talking to Derek, and everyone who's important to me needs to read this.

FieryGwenivere: okay, then let me put this simply- I love Zack. There have been a lot of options for his future that I have vetoed because they didn't fit for me. This one does. And I have reservations about it, and reservations about everything we've been through, because people keep putting them in my mind. I want people to stop. I want them to support me, support us. I want them to believe in our ability to make decisions, and if I'm going to make a mistake, let me make it. But more than that, if things go down between us, I don't want people to think it was because we were short-sighted. I want people to realize it was just worth it for us at the time.

Anything else, you may take it up with me...I understand this decision distances me greatly from people I've taken great strides at assuring I'd always be near. And I'm going to assume some of you will have shit to take up with me. But, so help me, if any of you start making this all any harder for me than it already is, I won't be the one putting the distance between us.

I love you. Let me love him. On with it.