Saturday, March 13, 2004

Just a few quick update to let you all know I'm still alive. Some thoughts:

--Penny Arcade and Monty Python alike have poked fun at a theme brave soldiers going in, unprepared, to battle with a bunny that turns out to be ironically ferocious. I'll have you know that this sin't quite the fiction everyone makes it out to be. My first week at Petland has taught me a few things, and one of them is this ageless truth: Bunnies have motherfucking claws.

--If I ever turn out like Debra from "Everybody Loves Raymond", I expect one of you to shoot me. Please. Enough with this "empowered bitchy woman/awkward husband" formula on television-- If I see one more episode of anything where Mr. So and So is made to reluctantly apologize to his wife after some innocent mistake that she rubs his nose in like a naughty puppy, I am sueing the Networks. This is what's going wrong with marraiges today, this sick feminism of the neurotic but empowered housewife on TV. We're all getting a little too much Debra Ramone. I have to rate her in one of my top five most hated sitcom characters, rivalled by Fran's mom on "The Nanny". Carrie from "The King of Queens" is what I'm aiming for-- Smart, sensible, beautiful, and clearly superior to her husband. Sounds about right.

--On a related note, in the same way I don't like comics or shows that are just people making jokes about how black they are, I've realized that "The Nanny" is the same thing about being Jewish-- a lot of idiotic stereotypes and stupid wordplay, and absolutely nothing of substance. "Will and Grace" is getting dangerously close to this with Gay humor-- I find it increasingly hard to believe that they aren't using a laugh track after the twentieth time this season Karen calls Will "Wilma". But at least they explore a variety of stereotypes-- they go into the Jew (/frazzled dependent woman), the Lush, and the Latin housekeeper as well as two different kinds of Gays: The professional homo and the hyper-homo. Jack is gay to the 10th power, giving his character a little something extra. (Sadly, that something is plausibility.)

--I've written this entire entry so far on the toilet.

--I've been meaning to write an entry devoted to making fun of Will and Grace for some time now, and no longer recall whether or not I already have. If I weren't sick of this toilet, I'd check for you, but I'm looking to wrap this up.

--I know what with working (and sleeping!) now being a major part of my schedule I've been slacking a little with this, but I've been brainstorming like crazy as to what quality future entries I will produce soon. You, my loyal readers, can look forward to the following:

The results of my own personal research as to which Travel site really gets you the best deals. (So far, Orbitz.)

A mini-tribute to the new, revitalized VH1, no longer just a sub-par knock off of MTV, but my one and only TV source for trivial bits of information that I'd probably know if I were more in tune with pop-culture (Like the fact that Milli Vinalli were exposed as being a pair of lip-syncing pretty boys rather than actual musicians when the recording they were using decided to skip repeatedly during a concert, as sourced from "I love the Eighties", or that many Rap Artists today are selling their own energy drinks, like Ice T's "Liquid Ice", as I found out while watching "Best Week Ever". Man, Liquid Ice is such a great idea, they should have come up with that before...and called it water. Thanks to Wil Wheaton for pointing out what should have been obvious on that one.)

Vaginismus- a more in-depth look. I really need people to begin to have some understanding of what this really is to me, and to everyone who has it. I've been angry that no one so far has even begun to understand, but I haven't been explaining it well enough. The world needs to change-- there are lots of problems, and I've finally found one I care about. Time to do my part.

--My legs fell asleep while sitting on the toilet all that time. Pity.

On with it.