Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Things I Don't Have Time to Know...

I'm thinking about things I don't know. The Google Doodle today seems to be honoring the work of one Dr. Salk, and I know that this is something that somewhere in the recesses of my brain I used to know, at least vaguely.

The obvious answer is to click it and find out, spend some time learning more. But I don't have time. Not if I want to get my daily dose of writing in, in addition to everything else I did today. Namely: work, care for the baby, care for the dog, continue on a project to clean the smelly carpet, shop for a carpet-cleaning spray and some other basic grocery things while I was there, and finish fixing this problem in a video I made for work that I just couldn't do at work because of our crappy video software.

That video...I don't want to get into it, but it basically killed me. Tomorrow is the presentation it's needed for, so, whatever happens...I am done tomorrow. I lived through it. Suck on that, video-scum!

I'm not making a lot of sense. I'm a bit punch-drunk. It's been a busy day.

I'm watching through The Gilmore Girls again now that it's on Netflix (I even managed to get in part of an episode today, while I was waiting for Dan to come home with Pizza), and I continue to be hounded by the feeling that if I looked up every lightning fast reference they made, I could become quite erudite in a matter of months. Literary references, historical figures, pop culture gems-- the episodes are jam-packed. I would be nigh unstoppable.

I feel similarly about crossword puzzles. When I was getting into a little habit with crossword puzzles (back when I had an android phone and therefore access to Shortyz, an irreplaceably excellent app if you're into crosswords), I attempted to make a point out of reading the wikipedia page of at least one clue that I did not have the answer to every time. Of course, I was unemployed at the time, and not yet a mother. So I had time to entertain such noble dalliances.

It didn't make a ton of difference, though, I suppose. I doubt very much I remember anything I learned from those entries. Read once, and without context, they just didn't have an anchor in my mind.

That's the problem with looking up Salk or various Gilmore Girls references: I might have time to read a sentence or two, or a paragraph if I'm lucky. But I don't have time to learn the context that would allow me to understand the importance or give it any meaning for me. The other day, I attempted to trace on of Michel's insults to Kirk by looking up...I don't know. Friederich Something? I figured, from the context, that he was probably a somewhat notable Nazi.

Turns out...he was! Maybe something to do with scientific experiments? Brazil? I don't know. The point is, I didn't learn any more from the exercise than what I pretty much guessed from the context.

It's frustrating to me that I can't go back and look up who Friederich-something was and re-read at least a bit of his wikipedia page so he might become more to me than just an anonymous Nazi. It's frustrating that I only play dumb crosswords now so that I don't feel guilty about the world of knowledge that I don't have. It's frustrating that I don't have time to find out who Salk was, and why there is a kid in his Google Doodle holding up a sign expressing some sort of appreciation.

But the reality is that it's 11:21 PM, and I keep promising myself that I'm going to get to bed before 11. I keep promising myself that I'm going to get to work by 8:30. I keep promising myself that today is the day that I'll get enough sleep, wake up on time, have everything laid out. Go to work, be productive, come home. Be a good mother. Meditate. Exercise. Write.

And yes, I could cut out the Gilmore Girls and the dumb crosswords in favor of learning who Salk was. But THEY don't judge me.

I acknowledge that I'm totally losing it.

Remember yesterday when I said that I do most things for the "satisfaction" of relieving the guilt of not doing them? Well, then, fine.

Jonas Salk discovered the Polio vaccine, apparently. Dude, I totally did know that. Isn't he's the one who refused to patent it because he believed a discovery that important should not be used to get rich off of?

Come to think of it, I think I totally learned that from a crossword puzzle. Bonzai!

Now let me go to bed, already, you oppressive, imaginary force.

Day 15. On with it.