Friday, October 20, 2006


Emily and I were discussing my slight preference towards holistic medicine, and when I mentioned that things like the Hanna Kroeger method proport to being able to provide cures, not just symptom-focused treatments, for things that are considered incurable in mainstream medicine (like herpes and Alzheimer's), she asked why they weren't catching on. When I typed the word "conspiracy", AIM suspiciously shut down and would not open again until I closed that window, after which I logged back on continued my deviant plan to plant a seed of doubt in the mind of my highly influential friend in the...medical research assitant field.

FieryGwenivere: The popular theory is that there's a conspiracy to keep people sick and dependent on medications
InfiniteAaah: : blame it all on capitalism
InfiniteAaah: : and now with the outsourcing of medical care... you have to wonder how things like that will change
FieryGwenivere: outsourcing of medical care?
InfiniteAaah: : they are flying people to India to have surgery because it's cheaper
FieryGwenivere: interesting
InfiniteAaah: : health insurance companies. how resourceful!
FieryGwenivere: and, they get to see monkeys. Nothing bad about that.
FieryGwenivere: It's so like those greedy corporations to declare war on upper-upper-class by outsourcing the medical procedures that our surgeons so desperately need to feed their families, and their servant’s families, for that matter. I smell Lou Dobbs’ next book.
InfiniteAaah: : well, except that the care is sub-par in many cases
FieryGwenivere: Are you hearing that from your own sources, or from the angry American doctors that you work for?
InfiniteAaah: : I don't work for doctors
InfiniteAaah: : I work for highly political ex-hippie statisticians
InfiniteAaah: : for the most part
FieryGwenivere: you understand that this is less me arguing and more me trying to provide all possible points of view, yes?
InfiniteAaah: : yes.
FieryGwenivere: But I am proud of myself for making a topical, politically relevant joke about outsourcing and socioeconomics.
FieryGwenivere: That's a rare opportunity, there, and I didn‘t let it go to waste.
FieryGwenivere: Normally my topics are limited to sex, relationships and television, like Carrie Bradshaw, minus the shoes and social life.


And now, a mini-installment of Linda Recommends.

Linda recommends:

  • The equally entertaining and thought-provoking Micheal Crichton book, State of Fear, which will help neutralize the doomsday negativity that many have felt in recent years in regards to the threat of global warning, heightened now by the relative popularity of Al Gore's Book/Documentary, An Inconvenient Truth. (Working title: A Conveniently Timed Propagandism. Not, as you may have expected, on my list of Recommendations.) Don't have time to chew through 688 pages of slightly incredible death-defying thrills? Allow me to summarize the important points: Wear sunscreen, drive fuel efficient cars, and don't sweat global warming. Most people don't realize that it's still a highly controversial theory, and for every piece of evidence that the ice caps are melting and atmosphere is heating up, there's a piece or two that it's not, plus a picture of Al Gore with his potatoe-shaped up his asse.
  • Olay's Total Effects Anti-Aging Anti-Blemish Daily Cleanser. The other day I sat in a salon chair, studying my face in the flourescent-lighted mirror as a hairdresser gave me a much-needed trim, and I was for to notice, as I have lately, that the lines formed by my cheeks when I smile have begun to make themselves a more permanent feature in my face, appearing, when I am expressionless, as something that would be classified as a "fine line". I've always been a fan of prevention when it comes to the kinds of vanity issues that years of watching the Golden Girls has taught me to fear, so I decided that now was as good a time as any to start investing in the health of my fifty-year-old face. I perused the selection in the Hannaford next door and bought this cleanser on the basis of visual appeal (I am sucker for aesthetics in marketing) and practicality: I might not be able to justify buying a fifteen-dollar tub of wrinkle cream when I don't have any actual wrinkles, but every girl should have a good cleanser. The cream has a pleasant odor, a soft, non-greasy texture and very subtle exfoliants, plus it's 2% salicylic acid, enough to work for minor acne. What's more, having only used this product a handful of times over the course of a week, I noticed that my complexion was a bit clearer and brighter, but what shocked me, when I checked the mirror today, was the discover that the fine lines I so feared are already nearly invisible. Granted, I'm twenty-two, but that's still pretty freaking impressive. Go out and buy some, and give yourself a fighting chance to spend your Golden years as more of a Blanche than a Dorothy.

On with it.


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