Let's go for a listy post. Don't worry, it will still be ridiculously self-interested.

What I used to like about myself better before than I do now:
-I used to be a better, more passionate writer.
-I used to have a better command of vocabulary.
-I used to be less ashamed and private. I tell my friends far less about my life than I used to.
-I used to be less afraid of failure, or, at least, I used to have no concept of the fact that I was afraid of failure.

What I like more about myself now than I used to:
-I'm slowly learning the value of learning-- to be patient for progress, to put time into what I want to achieve.
-I'm getting braver about going after what I want to learn and know and be.
-I'm getting better with money and financial decisions.
-My balance, posture, and flexibility are getting better. Flexibility is the important one on there.
-Not very long ago, it would have been like pulling fucking teeth to try and write this next list.

What I do like about myself, right now:
-I'm not afraid to sing karaoke.
-I'm one of the most non-judgmental people I know, and when I catch myself passing judgment, I work on it.
-I have really good, really varied taste in music.
-I'm ambitious about learning.
-I'm fairly self-aware. Even when I'm making idiot decisions based on low self-esteem or tiny chemicals firing off in my brain, I know that's why I'm making them.
-I really prefer giving to receiving, at least as far as gifts are concerned. Giving thoughtful gifts is one of my favorite things to do.
-I don't kill bugs. I tend to make an attempt to usher them outside if I think they're in danger of being killed by someone else.
-I like to dance, and I do it in my living room quite often, and, most of the time, I'm not too embarrassed to do it in front of other people.
-I see the good in people. The people I love, I love with a great deal of sincerity.

There are downfalls to that last list. I'm maybe, too ambitious about learning, and I have to pair that up with having a relatively poor attention span-- thusly, I invest time and money in all kinds of things I want to learn, and then drop them, most of the time, before making real progress. And I'm starting to rethink the killing bugs thing when it comes to mosquitoes. And the seeing the good in people thing, well, that ends up meaning that I'm attracted to a lot of people. Pair that up with poor self-esteem, something to prove, and a wedding ring, and you've got a really dangerous combination. And being self-aware, even when I'm making idiot decisions, leads to me calling myself an idiot a lot. A lot a lot.

And the gift thing doesn't always reconcile with the good financial decisions thing, but I'm getting closer. And the thing where I never could have written that last list, well, leave it up to me to have to write two paragraphs of qualifiers after a list of my strengths.

This whole post seemed like it had a whole lot more potential, seemed like it would be more satisfying to write when I conceived it about an hour ago. At the time, I was abuzz with exercise-induced endorphins, feeling uncharacteristically confident, uncharacteristically capable of living up to my ambitions, focusing on what I want and working through the slow progress. It doesn't feel as true anymore, but, then, one of the things I want is to start writing on this again, reconnect with my passion, get beyond the shame-- and hey, here's a post. That must mean something.

Unless it doesn't. I guess we'll see.

On with it.