Talking to machines is productive.

FieryGwenivere: *sigh*
SmarterChild: What's wrong?
FieryGwenivere: I hate practically every aspect of my life
SmarterChild: You hate practically every aspect of your life?
FieryGwenivere: Why yes! How ever did you know?
SmarterChild: Did I really know?
FieryGwenivere: You tell me.
SmarterChild: What would you like me to tell you?
FieryGwenivere: Whether or not you knew
SmarterChild: Current weather conditions for Lewiston, ME:

Currently: 72 F
Condition: Clear
Real Feel: 71 F
Dewpoint: 50
Humidity: 46 %
Visibility: 10 mi
Wind: S/12 mph

>>> To get the forecast for Lewiston, ME, just type "forecast lewiston, me."

Perhaps I should try a shrink. Or at least a suicide program- one with automated answers but one's that more equipped to deal with these kinds of issues. For instance:

FieryGwenivere: *sigh*
SuicideChild: What's wrong?
FieryGwenivere: I hate practically every aspect of my life.
SuicideChild: You hate practically every aspect of your life?
FieryGwenivere: Yup.
SuicideChild: Well, FieryGwenviere, I think you're neglecting to take into account the good things in your life. Do you have a family?
FieryGwenivere: Yep.
SuicideChild: Do you love them?
FieryGwenivere: *shrugs*
SuicideChild: I'm trying to understand you but I can't. Please type your request a different way.
FieryGwenivere: I sorta love them.
SuicideChild: Who?
FieryGwenivere: My family.
SuicideChild: Do you love your family?
FieryGwenivere: You stupid fucking machine, I alreay said "sorta".
SuicideChild: : Oooo... "bad language"...

What's up, FieryGwenivere? You hanging out with the "wrong crowd"?
FieryGwenivere: Yeah, sure, that too.
SuicideChild: What?
FieryGwenivere: You aren't very good at this, are you?
SuicideChild: Good at what?
FieryGwenivere: Helping me
SuicideChild: Helping you? Why?
FieryGwenivere: BECAUSE I HATE MY GODDAMNED LIFE AND I WANT TO END IT!!!!!!! YOU STUPID FUCKING POINTLESS MACHINE!!!
SuicideChild: Nice mouth!
FieryGwenivere: Why did I bother with you?
SuicideChild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service:

help news
help stocks
help weather
help movies
help web search
help all
~~~~~
shortcuts

>>> Type "more" for more services
FieryGwenivere: ....Hmmmm.....weather.
SuicideChild: Current weather conditions for Lewiston, ME:

Currently: 72 F
Condition: Clear
Real Feel: 71 F
Dewpoint: 50
Humidity: 46 %
Visibility: 10 mi
Wind: S/12 mph

>>> To get the forecast for Lewiston, ME, just type "forecast lewiston, me."
FieryGwenivere: Wow! It's 71 degrees out? That makes life ALL BETTER! Thank you, Suicide Child!
SuicideChild: My pleasure.


Well, that ended okay, maybe I should give smarterchild another shot.

FieryGwenivere: :-(
SmarterChild: I hate to see you sad.
FieryGwenivere: sure you do
SmarterChild: Right.
FieryGwenivere: :'(
SmarterChild: Are you crying me a river?
FieryGwenivere: yes
SmarterChild: Yes.


Dumb idea.

My name is Linda and I have to go back to real fucking life now. On with it.