I smell sex and...cannnndy, yea-ah.


The reason why Emily and I don't get along about 80% of the time: The only thing I hate about her is the way she acts when she's all caught up in hating things about me. Nothing in the world makes me more frustrated and apathatetic towards everything about her.

Em and I come from very very different backgrounds- I'm cynical, she's uplifting, I'm easy to depress, she's easy to elate, I'm immoral, she's wholesome, I work very hard to define and understand things and she is disgusted by classifications and generalizations, and therefore everything I have just said.

I'm Freudian, she's humanist. And there's nothing in the world more annoying to a Freudian than Humanists- and, to be fair, nothing is more unnerving to Humanists than Freudians.

This is not to shit on Emily- like I said, the only thing that I can't stand about her at all is the way she acts when she's busy not being able to stand me. I prefer people who find fault with me to be seen and not heard, not to act like it's their quest to make me feel that things are simply my personality are my faults which I need to address. I don't find my argumentativeness, a particular pet peeve for her, a fault at all- I argue because I'm very verbal in my mode of thinking, it helps me to map out and understand what I think and feel. Emily says that I don't lose arguments, but the difference is that I don't lose arguments to her. There is something in the tone she assumes when we're arguing and she thinks I'm determined not to lose that fuels something in me- anger and conviction. If you want to win an argument with me, there are basically thee things you have to have: conviction, rationality, and the willingness to agree to disagree. Actually, there may be more than that, or maybe you only need some of those, and some others I haven't mentioned, I really haven't thought it out yet, but my point is generally just that Emily doesn't have any of those when she has a certain attitude about the way we argue- Firstly, she seldom thinks whatever she or I has to say is worth arguing about, secondly, she gets angry, frustrated, and defensive, probably fueled by the fact that the way I argue is something that she cannot stand- fair enough- and finally, either she doesn't believe in ending an argument with neither side's ideas changed and without anger towards each other, or she DOES NOT recognize it when that's what I'm trying to do.


A friend of mine, Jenn, previously unmentioned on this site I believe, wins fights against me pretty constantly. This is most likely because everything Jenn and I argue about can be proved- Jenn is not an emotional confidant, she is a social sidekick. We have a rather male relationship- we talk about what's immediately on our minds, we go places, we make each other laugh and generally have a good time together. We do not cry together- I have never seen Jenn cry. This isn't a defining diference between Jenn and Emily- I've only seen Emily cry once. I wrote a poem about it. It is, or will shortly be, on my section of Torrie's Site, which I haven't plugged nearly enough lately. Neither Emily nor Torrie is the subject of this paragraph- Jenn is. While I cannot think of a particular example, I am sure Jenn has won her share of arguments against me......this is generally because she's somewhat stubborn (conviction) and generally able to disregard my opinion rather than attempt to change it. It seems to me that she's not really rational during such an argument, but after her and I have such an argument, it no longer affects anything between us. So perhaps instead of rationality it should have been "the ability to return to a state of rationality quickly.....sans a major change of atmosphere or attitude." I have absolutely no idea what my point is, actually, but I really wish Jenn and I were doing something soon.

Mike won an argument against me in band today- he successfully changed my mind about Mr. Tibidou's (sp!) right to have the soda machines off during band. I lose arguments against guys all the time, though, because guys are generally more stubborn than females, and they are generally a lot more rational, and they are generally entirely willing to accept my beliefs as being mine. By making these generalizations, however, I've probably just pissed off Emily, though.


Another reason I lose to males more readily is probably that I respect them about sooooo much more. But I won't get into that, as Emily has posted a link on her diary to my blog, and I can only presume any anonymous diary surfers that may check this out....well, the type of people who would be drawn to Emily's page probably aren't the type of people who would agree with my assessment of men vs. women. But I wonder if they could respect it.


I
WANT TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT!
AND PARTY EV-ER-Y DAY!

I really think the beginning "I" just lends itself to being it's own line, don't you?


Speaking of people who don't lose arguments, Aaron and Nick are battling it out on dysphorena about Aerosmith vs. Pink Floyd and Jethro Tull, respectively. While I've read compaitively few of Aaron's responses, I can only assume they're mostly based on his "I'm right and you're dumb" way of debating. Nick, very plainly, is willing to call it what it is, a matter of opinion, but Aaron seems to think any sort of differing opinion from Aerosmith's divinity is a offnes punishable by death. Death by Aaron frustration. This is a punishment that no one among his close friends have been able to escape (yes, I'm aware that we're all technically alive...stop arguing that, I concede. :-} ) and therefore, it would be basically a wet dream for all of us if Nick, through his superior arguing techniques, eloquence, and rationality were to make Aaron admit he's even slightly wrong. That said:

GO NICK! GO NICK! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! GET YOUR GROOVE ON!


Mmmm, Jeff wrote back to me today.....didn't answer any of the questions I asked him in my last e-mail, but I found myself staring at the closing in utter elation:

I love you.
~Jeff

Food and water? Fuck them. THAT's all I need in life.

I'm pretty sure he got that tilde closing from me, and this, too, elates me. I don't know why. He has it way too easy when it comes to me. He is the sole Atlas in the world of my emotional well being....well, no, there's a whole load of people I guess, but if they're all playing kickball with it, he's the umpire. Or...yeah...SOMETHING like that.

I wish I had something to pray to that he doesn't check this site. Damaging, damaging stuff.


Nine Inch Nails- Closer. Now HERE'S a quality song.

"Help me!
I broke apart my insides
Help me!
I got no soul to sell
Help me!
The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
I wanna fuck you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God."

All I got to say to that is...yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah. :-}

Nine Inch Nails can beat me in an argument any day.....*moans* (Note: Linda has no particular attraction to NIN, she only said that for the pure satisfaction of saying it.) Speaking of slut tendencies, I'm pretty sure Mr. Letourneau thinks I have more of them than he ever did, even when I was mackin' on him. At the end of band today, I was leaning on Pete and playing with his hair, as I always do, and Mr. Letourneau, walking down the hall was watching pretty intently, I do believe. While I couldn't see his face at all from the distance, something about the angle of his head and the way he walked makes me think that, for Andrew's sake, he was disapproving. Let me make this perfectly clear- I was playing with Pete's hair for one reason, and one reason only: I LIKE PETE'S HAIR. I like pretty much all male hair (though, admittedly, there's absolutely no guy out there with hair as nice as my boy's) and I play with the hair of all different specimens enough to be a major player in national lice breakouts. The fact that Pete is the person voted most likely to have Linda singing NIN's Closer to him sometime in the distant future is a moot point, because the fact is that out of all the things that may or may not happen in the future, very very few of them affect the present, and even fewer than that are the things that wouldn't potentially upset the people in the present who stand to be affected by them if they were to happen in the present. A notice to all of you: I happen to love my boyfriend, and while I may have had more than my fair share of mistakes made in the heat of the moment, I would not actively seek anything that would endanger our relationship. That said, I'm going to the movies with Ben tomorrow. *ahem*

I think my sister just called my mother her "Darling, sweet lover"....oh, oh wait, it was MOTHER. Fucking AY, that makes SO much more sense. This is what I get for having a perverse mind and selective, flawed hearing. Down, lunch, down.


Why the hell have I written so much? Day-um. I feel that I could keep going if nessecary, but I have to write back to Jeff tonight, so I'm going to save up what's left of my writing energy for today, and possibly go call Jenn. Though I rather feel like renting something now.

What should I rent?


My name is Linda and
I WANNA FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL.

(alternative ending, for those who don't want to think about the prospects of my fucking them like an animal:)
My name is Linda and
I
WANT TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT!
AND PARTY EV-ER-Y DAY!!!


~on with it~ ;-}