An overview of today: cramps, bleeding, hormones, jealousy, self-loathing, disappointment, longing, loneliness, foreboding, did I mention cramps?, anger, testosterone, estrogen, ugh.

Good points- I'd like to point out, without saying his name or why I'm writing this, that I am extremely proud of one of my friends, and I will always love him no matter what. *Hugs*, boy! Oh, and an incredibly easy-on-the-eyes kid from leavitt named Jason......probably shouldn't get into that with my boyfriend lurking about this site again, but then, if he's allowed to hit on Theresa... ;-)

Period-related hormones feel like the end of the fucking world. Extreme dysphoria.

The only thing I want to do less than going to bed while feeling as unfulfilled with the night as I do is have to wake up tomorrow morning....golly gee, what excitement, I get to go to school for another day. To learn more, and form meaningful bonds with my classmates and teachers. Yeah pha-king right. I miss Jeff. (Put on your big surprised faces) I've just spent the last 45 minutes reading old e-mails from him...I mean to be in bed by 11.

Andrew looked really great tonight, by the way. Perhaps I'm just more horny than I've been in a really long time, but his hair was perfect and his eyes were gorgeous and....damn. While the characters in the book I'm reading have just lost their virginity to each other in such a way that it seems to be ruining their relationship, all the talk of sex from the guy's point of view has me thinking basically one thing- yeah, I need action. There could probably be worse things in the world than losing my virginity before my 18th, huh? I could do drugs or listen to country music or something.

Whatever it was I was saying back there wasn't holding my attention because what I was thinking was "I miss Jeeeeeeeffffffff....". I didn't think you could obsess over a friend. I guess I was wrong. Nah, I've given him relatively little thought today...as compared to the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that anway. Oh, fuck, if I don't go now I won't get any more sleep today than I got last night, and I looked like hell this morning...and all of today. I'm out. On with it~