Monday, March 11, 2002

Done with my daily scan on other people's blogs for my name or anything that seems important- I haven't checked Jacquie's in a while, I'll have to get around to that soon- and suddenly I realize that I want to write an entry for the reason I used to- because I have something to say.

"I guess I should be satisfied
Did you say you love me half the time?
Well I'll settle there
We can build from there."

Sometimes I seem to fall out of love with everything and everyone. Or maybe that's just my way of making it broad so I don't have to hurt anyone in particular. As if. (There's a great phrase that doesn't get enough play *shakes her head*) But last night wasn't my best for being in the throes of love and passion. I was rather blased...or something along those lines. I never don't love people, but sometimes I don't feel as in love with them as other times.

And the fucked up part is, I could probably do shit about it.

I'll talk with Mr. Ladd about it all today....if I get around to it. The shitty thing about appointments with him- as it always has been, nonetheless, is that whether or not I go in their with the intent of talking about something specific, most of the time I don't get around to it. We always talk about important shit, but generally not what I thought we would.

Jenn and I, bored, started a rumor the other day that I was pregnant by leaving a note around- with disguised handwriting- that said I was. It got around a little but seems to have died by now- I didn't intend to deny it if people had asked me, but by the time a few of them did, I wasn't really in a mood to lie. Not enough energy. Today I found out that two girls in this school, neither of them who will be described in any more certain terms than that, are having simultaneous pregnancy scares. (I heard it from them...nothing as reliable as a note I found on the bathroom floor) They were discussing how their parents would react, and one of them said to the other "You're parents are going to have to accept that you aren't a little girl anymore". I exercised what little tact I sometimes seem to have and didn't scream out "What the fuck are you talking about? As far as being ready to mother a child goes, you are a little girl, indefinitely, and your parents are NOT being unreasonable to think so." I don't tend to judge people when it comes to pretty much anything (And I know this is the type of thing that the general audiences reaction to will be "Yeah, right") but when it comes with know, have sex if you want, do what you will, I'm not here to tell you what you are and are not ready for....I'm the last person to ask something like that, actually...but Jesus, if anyone is ever prepared to have children, it's not someone who hasn't gratuated, and won't anytime this year. (Nothing further!)

On a better note, I seem to smell Jeff right now. He's got the week off. We're going to see 40 Days and 40 Nights tomorrow...I don't know if I mentioned my reaction from the first time I see it (I could probably check, huh?) but it was a fucking excellent movie.

As if you need to, want to, or should know, there is a pressure on the walls of my bladder that is petitioning to be relieved. And I have very little time in study hall left. So, until tomorrow (or until my computer decides to work), I'm off.

On with it.