Ryan needs fresh blood.

The above link leads to what I find to be a hilarious conversation between me and my friend Ryan, the Plasma Donor. In it, you will read in-depth description of the vampiric world of plasma-donating, most of which I think (or hope) is pure bullshit. Still, his desperation is both tragic and funny, so it makes for a good read, if you've got nothing better to do.

As per our agreement in the conversation, I will be adding Ryan's site to the "people" section in exchange for him putting a link to my site on his. I like to think of this arrangement as being a little less questionable than the plasma-related ones, and I'm trying to increase traffic as of late, so if anyone else would like to exchange links, please e-mail me. And once again, mention this deal in your subject line so it doesn't get lost in a sea of spam.

And once again, my favorite spam subject line of the week (even though I'm fully aware it hasn't been a week since the first one): Simply stated, "SEX WITH ANIMALS!" What does it advertise? Well, there's only a link in the e-mail reading "click here" with no context other than the subject line, so one can only assume. Point being, I haven't been there yet. I mean, I haven't been there. Yet. I mean...


On an unrelated note, I transcribed the lyrics to Chonky, but as of yet, Andy Milonakis has not e-mailed me back his list of corrections. My suspicion is that I am being punished for making fun of how quickly he responded last time, as in his last e-mail he said, quote, "Writing, editting videos, working on my website, looking at porn. All of those important things are done on my computer. Next time, I'll take longer to reply. SMOOCHES." I assumed the use of the word "SMOOCHES" implied that he wasn't really angry, but perhaps I was wrong. To this I say: It's been longer then twelve minutes now, Andy! You can go ahead and reply! It's for the good of our collective fans!!

If what you want, Andy Milonakis, in exchange for the corrected lyrics is some sort of massive sacrifice of dignity on my part, name your price. Do you want begging? Ass-kissing? Pictures of me making out with supermodel Paige Butcher (featured cover model of this Month's Maxim)? Just name the time and give me her address-- I am willing to go that far for the integrity of my "journalism". Or for any other reason that you can think of.


...please think of a reason...



...please?...





...on with it...