Sunday, December 16, 2001

"When can my heart beat again?
When does the pain ever end?
When do the tears stop from running over?
When does 'You'll get over it' begin?
I hear what you're saying,
But I swear that it's not making sense,
So when can I see you again?"|

Starting the day by listening to the same missing-him playlist I made last night probably isn't overly healthy. I don't care,'s sunday. Gloomy Sunday.

That's a song that I have on one of my Billie Holiday CD''s about her lover dying and she decides to commit suicide to be with him. (I've just now witnessed the strangest ferret was laying on this part of her cage over her water bottle, hanging her head down and drinking from the water bottle upside down. And now the song she was named after has come on....freaky.)

"Seen a lot of good things die out
In an overemotional way
These days-
So please hand me the bottle,
I think I'm lonely now.
And please give me direction
I think the hurt set in.
But I don't feel nothing....."
~Matchbox Twenty

It went through "The Freshmen" by the Verve Pipe and is now "Behind Blue Eyes" by the Who (I think), the last song he told me to download. It's a very me song.

"No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies-
But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be"

I feel greasy and tired and there's too much to do today to just sit here and quote sad songs that remind me of someone that wouldn't quote sad songs for me. That's far too teenaged, I don't feel like being 17 right least not all that seventeen. Or maybe I really want to be more 17....I think I should stick some more quotes up in my room and work on memorizing the audition for drama, and I'd like to rent a movie and my mom will force me to clean my room.

And, hey, after christmas I'll have a TV in my room and I'll be able to watch movies while cleaning my room. There's somethign in life to look forward too.

"Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts

on with it...