Fox's official Family Guy website has to be, excuse my intolerant use of language, the gayest site on the internet. I say this because not because I've finally given in to the ignorant social trend of saying something is "gay" when you mean that it is some mix of dumb and lame (another intolerant word, if you look closely at the roots of it), but because I actually found it's personal ad today while I was perusing the classifieds.


SGM Family Guy Website,
poorly designed by special
needs Fox Intern (who has
never actually seen show)
seeks marriage-ready GM
for intimate relationship.
Like walks on the beach,
movies, nature, kids. Call
555-SUCK, box no. 69


Okay, I know this was a pathetic attempt at wit on my part, but a website that bad doesn't deserve the thought it would take me to come up with an amusing insult. Don't believe me? Check out the "Family Guy Moments" or the "Tour of the Griffin House". And then issue a formal apology by way of giving my thousands of dollars. Because I was so right.

If, like me, you're longing for a Family Guy site that lives up to Seth MacFarlane's Masterpiece, I suggest The Family Guy Files. It's got a reference guide, a trivia quiz, and video clips that were/will be cut from the DVD's (for now, at least. The webmaster suspects that Fox may ask him/her to remove them, which is a good possibility, considering the way they ransacked sites that offered Simpson's sound files, so I would get their quickly if you'd like to download some of these gems.)



Speaking of gems, some jeweler I don't care to look up the name or location of is selling, for the 30th anniversary of Hello Kitty, platinum, diamond-encrusted Hello Kitty...dolls? Pendants? I don't know what the fuck they are, except ludicrous.

hello extravagance


The word "extravagance" there is the replacement for a much-sought after word I could not remember and brought many, many people into the search for. Thanks Kevin for the suggestion of "frivolity" and Casey for...oh, some damn hoighty-toighty word that no one would have ever understood. Profligacy. Exactly the right concept, but I never could have used it. Go there, now, learn the word so that next time this kind of diamond-encrusted bullshit comes up, I can use that word and you'll get it. (And, as much as I make fun of him, Casey is just about the hottest guy in the whole world for knowing what that means.)

FieryGwenivere: It is so hot that you know what that means
CLAB RACK: please, bitch. that's nothing.

Ah, gotta love him.

On with it.