Friday was a while ago, but this week's Friday five looked fun to answer. So I'll go for it.

Friday Five


You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first? At this point, Christ, probably no one. I just hate telling people any news that could be considered "big". I'll tell a few people-- Zack would obviously know, as he's with me all the time-- but not in any damn hurry. I think.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself? Well, treatment's not a "thing", and it's no fun anyway, so I guess I'd buy some land and have a house built. Nothing too flashy, Just nice. Maybe in the Ozarks. I've been thinking about having a house their one day for a long time. Oh, I'd buy off the rights to this house, too, so no one could ever cut down my apple tree.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else? Zack's BMW Z4 roadster. Or Casey's Wifi. And, hell, Casey can have a BMW, too, or whatever car he'd prefer. Since I'm already at the dealership.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom? Originally I was gonna say I'd send a bunch of vag sufferers to the WTC, but there's a lot of people-- including me-- that resent the WTC for their extremely high prices. So I think instead I'd help to get started a rival Vaginismus treatment facility that costs thousands upon thousands less. And I'd make sure my sister's family all got great therapy-- not for vag, just for, well, being them.

5. Do you invest any? Sure, if there's anything less. If I have house, treatment, my apple tree, Zack and Casey are happy, and I know I've taken a stand against the fucking vag, well, the rest is just details.


On with it.