Tuesday, December 11, 2001

I get selfish sometimes and bitch at people who probably don't deserve to be bitched at because it's FUCKING SATISFYING TO BE THE BIGGEST WHORE I POSSIBLY CAN BE TO THEM. Let's take a better look at this:

Someone unamed: I'm still here for you Linda. Remember that. Maybe I haven't taken all this in the best way possible but I don't intend to abandon you.
FieryGwenivere: I know
Unamed: You still have my roses hanging in your room?
FieryGwenivere: yeah
Unamed: Then tonight Linda, I want you to look at those roses and remember that I, like those roses, will be here for you, no matter what happens. And even if it's not me...there will always be someone, someone like me, who will be there to give you comfort in the night. Because even though they may wilt, I don't believe roses ever truly die.
FieryGwenivere: sure
Unamed: I'm sorry. I'm only doing the best that I can.
FieryGwenivere: Do what you want. I'm not having the type of night where I can sit around and contribute hallmark-card nostalgia over past and present relationships and assuage your fears that you've either left me or been left by me, or will leave me, or will be left by me, or that our relationship might change or that it might not get better or that one day I may take down my roses or that one day you may stub you toe. I'm just not there right now. I've got other shit on my mind and I don't feel like pretending that I care, right now, about yours.
Unamed: Then what is on your mind?
FieryGwenivere: nothing I can talk about
Unamed: Why?
FieryGwenivere: because I don't want to
Unamed: Well, that's your decision.
Unamed: I'm sorry.
*Linda ignores him for a few minutes*
Unamed: I love you Linda. Goodnight.
*Linda ignores him till he leaves*

And the thing is, I really wish I had taken the time to be crueler about that. I need to freak out at somebody right now. SOMEONE DO SOMETHING TO ME SO I CAN OVERREACT AND MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT A SEEMINGLY INCONSEQUENTIAL HAPPENING.

Too goddamned bad Elorza isn't on right now and hasn't been for a while....he totally would have leapt at that job. That's one of the hundreds of millions of gorgeous things about him...he can be unselfish when he wants to be. Truly unselfish, not this bullshit that all the rest of us go through trying to look unselfish while the whole time we are selfishly thinking about what a great impression we must be giving. Only when he wants to be, but so few ever achieve that, ya know?

Casey Labrack continues to be cool with funny links and the like...

I REALLY should be in bed. I'll do that now.

On with it.