It's a wonder to have a tiny little creature that lives with you. No, no, I am not sappily referring to Austin, I'm talking about Cody, my ferret.

I'll tell you why I ended that sentence with "my ferret"- I decided, on a whim, to check out my counter stats to see where the last fifty of my measley 1,934 hits came from, and I saw that it would seem I have at least one fan- or someone who checks my site regularly, for whatever reason (perhaps he/she intends to instant message me one day, woo me online, propose marraige and use me to get a green card...one never knows), from the united kingdom. This leads me to wonder how many, if any, other unknown site-checkers I might have. I could easily identify most of the IP addresses/server tags (?) on the list....gwi is ben, adelphia I presume is..uh, maybe kris or something? and my umaine fan is Mark. Beyond that...no real idea...but yeah, whatever, not important.

I'm listening to "The Dance" by Garth Brooks right now, which is reminding me, solemnly, of a poem that Andrew wrote for me that he read to me today after I told him what I needed to- I am with Jeff. (Or, uh, something like that. He and I didn't partake in as much discussion of the matter as we did...other actions.) This, for me, is incredibly hood, and the reason that I have been gushing words of goodness lately...though I'm not doing so terribly well today. After the incredibly unpleasant encounter with Andrew- which included being yelled at and having to deal with...well, let's just say, for his sake, intensity, I got locked out of my house after walking home and had to walk to Jenn's house. Jenn and I decided to go to the auburn mall, which was pleasant enough, except that there's nothing like dressing room mirrors to make someone feel bad about themselves and now I think I may be slightly anorexic for the next few days, and I managed to make my leg unbearably soar from all the walking.

This generally wouldn't be enough to ruin a jeff-related high...maybe it was just Andrew or maybe I'm having hormone problems, or maybe I already miss him or something. I don't know. I feel like doing one of two things- calling Jeff in hopes that he can make it better or going to sleep.

Yes, I know, any more mention of the word "Jeff" and we're all going to be sick. I'll try to lay off in the future. Heh, I wrote today- sappy fucking teenaged love poem for him, it was sooooo bad. (Which, in my terms, means sooooo average.) I'm thinking of re-working it, but it'll take a lot to make it less than nauseating.

Speaking of this, my stomach has been a big part of why I've felt pretty shitty lately. Wonder what that's about.

I feel like spending some time in the Jesse-mobile, with the heat and the base blaring and me falling asleep on him.....I wonder if I'm still allowed to fall asleep on people...well, in there laps anyway. I've been basically trying to cut out any activity that may lead to my acting like the slut I can so easily be since jeff and I...became whatever the fuck it is we are. Guess I should get a more definitive idea of that, huh?

I'll call him. I should. He could probably cure my stomach with his voice. (Though that comment probably just did the opposite to all of yours...I will lay off soon, just not yet.)

I have just made plans to go for a ride in the jesse-mobile (as only I call it) tomorrow after driver's ed...this makes me happy. Jesse's car, with his MASSIVE amounts of bass, relaxes the shit out of me for some reason. I'll probably need that by the end of tomorrow. Call it a hunch.

Apparently Jesse's car is named "Bullet". And his explanation of the reason why is quintessential right: "Because it starts fast, but after a while, it slows down."
:-) Am I the only one who feels like laughing their ass of at that?

Perhaps it's Jesse that relaxes me- something about not feeling pressured to actually make conversation when I'm with him. We just sort of sit there and listen to his thunder-music until one of us has a comment to make. It's....well, it takes less intelligence than most of my human interactions do. I like that.

At any rate, I'm gonna take some aspirins, lie down, pray my portable phone is charged and run up the long distance bill, assuming a certain someone is in their dorm. Let's hope...

on with it....