Things that don't concern me, or aren't ambiguous enough for me to pretend they concern me, or aren't about anybody that my mind is racing over the idea of over and over again that week very very seldomly interest me.

I am probably the most self-centered person I know when it comes to....I don't know, a lot of things. And I don't have a terribly big problem with that.

If it takes a twenty minutes to get to lewiston- and I don't know if it does, then I will be on my way to Mr. Ladd's office in a little over a half hour. Or a little under. How positively......I don't know how I'll feel in the car ride up there, or how hard my hard will be beating or how difficult it will be to breath when I step in the doorway to the Y and look for him. I don't know how it will feel to see him for the first time in almost two years and stare at him, knowing that he is the one I blamed for so much of my pain for so long, that I am definitively caught up in the moment I've been fearing so much and hoping for so unsurely for so long- seeing him again. Holy shit, this is happening today.

Thank god I'm barely conscious of that. I'd have combusted by now.

All part of the "morbid obsession", right?

It feels weird contrasting a weekend that great with a day that started out this badly and a afternoon that promises to be so.....impossibly emotional. First thing this morning, a certain Mr. Mentor decided to get into a Mr. Ladd-bashing session that I reacted to quite strongly, then Ms. Grant got quite unfoundedly angry at me in English- a very frightening experience- and Madame V was upset about this weekend in French- her cat got run over, among other things. That set me off a little, memories of my dog and all that. Study hall and lunch were fine I guess, and in chemistry I used free time to write a fairly depressing song- it's the first thing I've finished even a rough draft of in a damn long time.

I should eat or something.

So, yeah...friends of Linda, prepare for fall out. This could get interesting.

On with it....