"So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts?
Boy, you best pray that I bleed real soon.
How's that thought for ya?"
~Tori Amos

FINALLY bleeding, you can't imagine the relief. (For all of you who didn't need to know that- if you want impersonal, try some other bullshit journal. THIS bullshit journal talks about my menstral cycle, alright?)

Yesterday was good.....between hanging out with Ben and Nick for the first time in forever and going over to Jeff's, it would have been amazing, but, of course, there had to come that moment of breaking down just before I had to leave Jeff's when I felt the full weight of reality crash into me once again and drive me to tears in his arms.

At least it was in his arms. Beats the hell out of crying in the dark, in my room, alone, listening to whatever depressing CD I put on that day and feeling the tears fall into my ears pointlessly- over and over again. God, only a teenager would brag about that kind of crap.

"YEAH??? WELL I'M TWICE AS MISERABLE AS YOU ARE!!!!"

Let's get real- It's bragging. It's all about impressing people with the INSANE amounts of pity. It's an ego-trip. It's a fucking badge. And I'm young, dumb, and hormonal, so screw you- I like it this way.

So, quick review of today- woke up insanely early, got learner's permit, bought attena for TV, went to Moody's diner and camden with ryan, now going to pick up Ben and going with both of them to portland. And I'm off.

On with it!