.....there's been a reason none of this has been working, that everything has felt so wrong, that I've finally been working towards fixing it all, making it all right. And it occurs to me that I don't think it's going to matter at all.

Sometimes I have nightmares where I do things so wrong I know I'll never be able to make them alright again, and then I wake up and I'm relieved. I can't wake up from this one.

On with it.