I was feeling okay about things, and today was a productive day- I started to work on fixing all of the problems of my life. So I decided to apologize to Jeremey for everything that I could even imagine blaming on myself, just so it would blow over, so we could start again. I've loved him from the first time he ever made fun of me, in fifth grade, I thought it was worth it.

I put myself out there and he told me that it was over and he didn't care about it. He told me I had Chad and Nick and Ben to take his place. I told him nothing could ever take his place. I told him goodbye. He told me "Toodles".

Even though it's after the fact, I should point out that I don't really think Jeremey ditched me because I didn't put out for him. I know this won't change the fact that I've lost him, but it would be an injustice to him to let my readers have even a lingering impression of that.

I've just lost forever my oldest close friend. I've got to sleep on that.

On with it.