And yet again, I have way too much riding on the outcome of a football game.

The last time the patriots went to the superbowl, my father and I got very very close as we watched every game leading up to it together, cheering the pats on. It was the first time since I turned 11 or so that he and I had managed to have any discernible kind of bond at all. When they lost to Green Bay, he and I never really spoke again.

For the past few days he has been incredibly pleasant- tonight he was so much that it makes me want to cry. He is being good and nice and almost even fatherly, presumedly because the Pats are going to the Super Bowl again, and he excited...finally he may get bragging rights for the first time in...however damned long.

But if the Patriots lose tomorrow, things go back to normal.


Life fucking sucks when that much of your life is riding on goddamned football.

On with it.