Thursday, January 17, 2002

I didn't post yesterday, either? Are we fucking serious? Oh...look at that. I'm a moron. 3 of those were yesterday stuff. I'm a moron again.

Okay, well, after I posted all of that yesterday, Jenn and I walked down to movieland- this week's selections are:
"From Here to Eternity"
"New York Stories"
"American Beauty"
And "The Object of My Affection" which I have just finished watching in my second sitting.

I love that movie. I love ALL the great gay man/straight woman love stories- "The Next Best Thing" rocked my socks, to take one of my fellow blogger Jacquie's sayings, and while I don't remember "My Best Friend's Wedding" except that I had a sort of vague appreciation for it, I am almost absolutely sure I would love it.

One bothersome aspect of it, though- the reaffirmation of the fact that men and women cannot be just friends. Billy Crystal, or, more accurately, Harry, played with this idea in "When Harry Met Sally"- he explained it in great detail at the beginning of the movie and firmly believed in it, then he proved himself wrong when he became friends with her.

I'm a firm believed in NOT giving away the end's of movies that people intend to see, and I think it should be a requirement of life that everyone see "When Harry Met Sally", so if you have not see the movie yet, I hereby demand you skip the italicized paragraph, go to the movie store, rent the movie, watch it, then come back and read. Seriously. I'll hunt you down otherwise.

The problem is, he proves the theory wrong by becoming friends with her, and then ultimately falls in love with her. So is the moral that it is possible for men and women to be friends or impossible? Argh!!!

Alright, you uncultured swine, you can come back now.

I am tremendously frustrated by the possibility that men and women can't be just friends without ever having the attraction card play at least some role. (Yeah, I like my cars fast and my metaphors mixed!) This is because, in reality, while most of my friends are guys, it's ALWAYS played a role at some point in our relationship- either I've become attracted to them at some point or they have become attracted to me, or they felt me up or I groped them, or one of us thought we were getting mixed messages or other people thought we were flirting, or we clearly were flirting or we ended up making out, or I got pregnant and he demanded I have an abortion.....something, all the damn time. After a while, the attraction subsides or the groping is left behind for something better or people start to realize that it is possible for two people of the opposite sex to have a conversation without flirting or I change my name and move to a new town, but the relationship is rarely left completely the same.

Assuming there's no way for none of those things to happen, let's consider if it's possible for a guy and a girl to be close friends without one becoming very attracted to the other- my first male friend who I would consider to have been one of my best friends was Jeremey. And, uh, yeah- while I eventually learned that our relationship was meant to be completely platonic, originally he had me on a chain like a puppy of love. (Did I just type that?) Next in line was probably Chris (R), with whom I switched roles of "who is in love with whom" every few weeks, never once lining up- today, we could basically stay inside the lines of friendship if we ever really talked, but was awkward back then. Somewhere in freshmen year there was about five minutes of best friend-ship with Chris (P), but I wanted to date him desperately and when he wasn't allowed to- stupid Mormon rules, our friendship went down the drain like so many macaroni being washed off a plate. Uhm....there was a friendship with Bobby that turned sexual quickly and left me out in the romantic cold, but I wouldn't have considered him all THAT close to me, and then the friendship with Mike had a run-in with "I love you, I love you more"ism before he decided to whisper sweet nothing's to my best female friend, instead. Mark and I didn't stay just friends for very long- we went to the prom together, stopped hanging out for a really long time, then started becoming friends again, only to become more in my sophomore year. As Mark's and my relationship progressed, I got closer and closer to Elorza online, and shortly after I decided he was the best friend I had, I developed feelings for him which I managed to extinguish before it ruined Mark and me....and just shortly after he got around to mentioning he was dating someone. After Mark and I broke up....jeez, I had a lot of female friends for a while, and Andrew and I started to get close. By the time we had even admitted we were important to each other it was clear we were going to end up in a relationship. During that relationship, I got closer and closer to both Ben and Nick, both of which I've had certain run-ins of a romantic nature with. Andrew and I broke up, and along with Nick and Ben, I had another rendez-vous with someone that, while we've never, ever been completely platonic, due to *ahem* a TINY age difference, along with some other things, we really shouldn't be anything else.

Jeff and I were friends, well, real-life friends, for.....uhm, apparently only a little less than a year, I was thinking it was longer, before the concept of involvement was introduced. I used to pride myself in telling people that he was only my friend, it felt good to have a guy I could be like that without any kind of romance involved. I thought it was testament to the fact that things don't have to be romantic or sexual to be incredibly good....but yeah, that's...well, clearly not how we are anymore.

I want to have a friendship with a guy again. Chicks just don't cut it.

"American Beauty" next, eh? So maybe you'll get another rant on fucked up family life, or roses.

On with it.