Sunday, January 13, 2002

Mark was over for a really long time tonight, it was extremely relaxing and very nice- like almost seven hours of vegetating and listening to Guns N' Roses and Aerosmith

At first he got me pretty stressed out about something...a facet of my new found life I hadn't even considered yet. And frankly, I do NOT want to consider it in any way, shape, or form, but, yeah, I basically have to. My god, it sucks. This is the kind of bullshit I didn't really realize would ever apply to me, fully anyway, before he hit me with it today. Probably a good thing that he did...but jesus....I guess I never realized I'm as much of a naive teenager as I am.

All my life, I've tried to stay positive."

Ugh, that line does NOT apply to me in anyway, but I've found myself thinking a lot about that fucking play. Damn, did I love that fucking play. (And now anyone who's been at Lisbon High long enough to remember it is going to begin to piece things together.....and probably get a great deal of it wrong, but not entirely.)

"But now, positive is a word I fear."

I'm not sure if the word "fear" is right right there. Oh vell. Totally unimportant. (Except that's the kind of absolute bullshit that bother's me to no end- not being able to remember any tangible knowledge. Tonight, Mark and I couldn't think of the name of Salma Hayek, so I ended up singing all of "Liquid Dreams" just to get to it.)

Other than his insight into things I used to be preachy about, as well, the night was great. I thought my parents were already asleep and had every intention of just falling asleep next to him, but my dad awkwardly opened the door at one and asked if it wasn't time for Mark to leave. It was funny- you could totally tell he didn't expect to open the door to the two of us half asleep wrapped in blankets. I wonder if we looked post-coital.

We made plans to go to...fuck, he's only been gone an hour and I can't remember the name of the place. Tijuana, however taht's spelled. Just run away down there. I make those kinds of plans with people all the time. Running away into the infinite elsewhere forever. One of these days someone is going to take me seriously.

I can't wait.

On with it.