My head and my stomach are competing for the prestigious title of "Most in pain of Linda's body's parts.". I'm not sure who's winning. Perhaps if we take an in-depth look of WHY each of these body parts are in pain.

-My stomach- My stomach likes to be in pain. It's a hobby.

-My Head- My head is throbbing, in my opinion, for a much more overt reason, and I shalll slowly, painfully tell you why.

I survived Ice Storm '98
I survived THE MONSTER roller coaster at Busch Gardens, Alaska.

And the newest addition to the collection:

I survived the move "Magnolia"

AAAAAAH! *watches as all run away, screaming in terror.*

That was simply the most mind-melting cinematic experience ever. I don't want to give away all the delicious details, but let me make this perfectly clear- DO NOT watch this movie unless you're on some kinda of drug. While watching it, I wasn't entirely sure that I was NOT on some kind of drug. After the movie, I NEEDED some kind of drug.

While it's cinematography is, no doubt, excellent, and their is potential for deeper meaning, a sober person should not view this film unless it's an attempt to punish themselves for something.

"I can't believe it, I just hit a guy and kept driving! He could be hurt! He could be bleeding...or dead! Oh, what can I do? I would turn myself in, but I have a wife and family to support......little Timmy's operation! I can't go to prison! But how will I ever live with the guilt? What could be ample punishment. What's this? Magnolia is on pay-per-view tonight? Oh, thank you god! Thank you! *starts to sob*"

I don't know, though....unless that guy hit the man, got out of the car, stole his wallet, raped him, THEN kept driving, I still think he should stop about 45 minutes before the end. He's had it hard enough.

I kept myself entertained, at least. Towards the end of the movie, I just kept picturing a drunken group of female (sometimes gay) frogs in a karioke bar singing "It's raining men"---- that would have been a lot more amusing had I been able to say someone else thought it.


At any rate, should you decide to watch the movie, I'll give you a preview of what it's like: go to www.zoppo.com and sit there for a good hour. You'll see.

My name is Donnie Smith and I have love to give! (Not really) On with it!