Now Barry Manilow is depressing me. Yes, that's right. Barry Manilow. No, I am not ashamed. (Lie.)

"Cause somewhere down the road
Our roads are gonna cross again
It doesn't matter when
Cause somewhere down the road
I know that heart of yours will come to see
That you belong with me."

Okay, that was the WRONG part of the song to quote if I wanted to illustrate why it makes me depressed. That part just pisses me the fuck off. Maybe she doesn't want to belong with him. Maybe she wants to belong with herself.

Maybe he's still singing about his beagle.


Chris apparently thinks Jeff is a dickhead- Chris, you should know, has never met, talked to, or psychicly communed with, Jeff. But from the way I talk, all of my friends must hate each other. Because I'm so mistreated, so hurt, so bruised and beaten by all these bastards who constantly mistreat me! I'm the victim here! I'm the victim here!

This is a blatant lie. I'm the one who mistreats, hurts, beats and bruises....and speaking of bruises, Nick's wearing a Linda original. Yup, yet another guy friend has been inducted into the "Hall of Linda's Victims of Physical Abuse to the Point of Being Made Puffy And Blue". Well, I guess it's not all guys in there...Em's in there, too, if you count lips.

Jeremey is asking how I am, Chris is asking how work was, and I don't know how to answer either of them. I'm not really used to either of them.....anyone being overly concerned with how I'm feeling. (I'm the victim here! I'm the victim here!)

Listening to "Wise Up" by Aimee Mann.....the one thing of worth that came from my watching that god-awful magnolia movie. There's this scene in what is unfortunately the middle of the movie where all the characters are sitting, looking solemn, singing it. Some of the characters singing it are already dead during this time, but there corpses carry a tune surprisingly well.

Jeremey has just called me "Dayglow". At first I thought I misunderstood what he was talking about, like it was a word I didn't know, then I realized it was a Nickname he randomly gave me and I smiled. Maybe the first sincere time all day.

Jeremey: Just one of those moods, Dayglow?
FieryGwenivere: .....dayglow?
Jeremey: I was looking for a name (quickly) and realized that I already have a Sunshine and Moonshine...
Jeremey: ...and that's the best I could come up with. I know, it's bad.
FieryGwenivere: nah, it's nice.

I am Dayglow because he has a Sunshine and a Moonshine....I know I'm lucky for him to even think I deserve a nickname, but I wish I was dayglow for a real reason. I wish I was dayglow because....because I'm the reason he lived to watch the sunset after some long days I helped him through or because of the way the sunlight hits my complexion......I wish I was Dayglow, or whatever I am to him, because he's looked long and hard at what I am and realized that it was worth more than he had previously chose to acknowledge.

I am being needy again. I know that Jeremey loves me, when I do, I just....don't believe it. I don't think I really believe that anyone loves me, at all.......maybe that's my problem, lately. I've lost my ability to believe.

I am the victim here!

*sigh* 6:58 and if Jeff is going to call me tonight, like I asked him to, he will withint fifteen minutes or I might just have to do something desperate, like go for a run, finish listening to my new Ani CD's, or update this fucking page again. *sigh*

My name is Linda, and I am the victim here. On with it.